Hope & Joel

WHEN YOUR BIRTH DOESN'T GO AS "PLANNED"

Baby Asher’s due date was coming up, so I was anticipating a text from his parents soon. It was 6:34 AM on July 11th, 2019and I got a very exciting good morning text from Hope. She stated that she started having some contractions that night, but they’re nowhere near consistent. She had mentioned that she thought to have lost her mucus plug and leaking clear odorless fluid and had to change three times before putting a pad on. I advised her to eat a good breakfast and to get plenty of rest. I was anticipating Hope going into early labor soon and wanted to make sure she had gotten plenty of rest for the long ride of labor.

I got another text at 12:37 PM from Hope stating that they were more consistent, about 10 minutes apart. She saw her midwife who stated she was dilated at 2cm and 70-80% effaced. Baby Asher was positioned at 0 station. Her midwife also confirmed that her water was still intact. This was great news as there was no longer any limit of time to labor at the birthing center before being transferred to the hospital. (If her water was indeed not intact, she would have a limit of 36 hours before needing to transfer to the hospital. This is because there is a higher risk for infection).

2:33 PM rolls around and I got a call from Joel. He seemed very excited but also concerned. He called asking what they should do. Contractions were now 5 mins apart lasting about 40 seconds. Hope was still able to talk through them. I suggested to time the contractions for another hour to make sure they were consistent enough. 

That afternoon Hope did a great job coping with the labor pains. She rested, used the birthing ball, to which Joel stated helped tremendously, and they used a Rebozo blanket to help with back pain during contractions. 

At 6:53 PM I got a text from Joel stating that the contractions were getting kind of rough for a bit and that they may be 4 mins apart. Hopes mom came over during that time to spend some time with her and to take their dogs. Asher was coming and we were all preparing for what was to come. Joel advised me that once her mother left, I could come over, so at 7:35 I got a text stating I could come now.

I arrived at their house around 8:15 PM and found Hope laboring in her bed watching her favorite movie Jurassic Park. I could tell right when I got there that she was still in early labor. She was able to talk in between contractions and keep up with conversations. She was doing an amazing job coping through them by moaning. Since she was still in early labor, I suggested that we all try to get a good night sleep. We all had no idea how important that night of rest would have been! 

After a horrible night sleep for all of us, it was now July 12th, 2019 at 4:02 AM. I woke up from a text from Joel stating the contractions were now 2 ½ mins apart and have been for nearly an hour. The shower seemed to be helping with these now close together contractions. I arrived at their house at 4:28 AM and asked if they were ready to go to the birthing center since they were now about 2 mins apart. We left the house at 5:15 AM and I followed in my car behind them praying for Hope, as I knew the car ride must have been rough with the contractions. We arrived at Babymoon Inn birthing center at 5:50 AM. 

Once we arrived, Hope right away, got comfy in her room. The room was painted dark to make a relaxing atmosphere and had lights you were able to dim to set the mood. It also had a beautiful bath tub that the nurse, Maria, was getting ready for her to relax in. At 5:55 AM Hope’s midwife Kate, checked her cervix and it was still the same from the day before.

After the disappointment of no change in her cervix, Hope got into the bathtub to relax and listen to worship music. Her midwife was all about relaxation and rest. So, we all were trying to get her to rest as much as possible. I encouraged Joel to poor water over her contracting belly as I rubbed her arm to keep her relaxed. She was still doing an amazing job moaning through the contractions and coping through them. She was an expert at keeping her body and mind relaxed. 

6:58 AM and she believes her water broke in the bathtub! Kate, her midwife, wanted to wait to check her cervix to confirm that it was in fact her water, but did listen to baby’s heartbeat and he sounded great! 

The rest of the morning, Hope coped with each contraction by continuing to make the moaning noises, she got into the shower with Joel, swayed on the birthing ball and later got into bed.  She was having really bad back labor, which probably was from her scoliosis, so I happily applied counter pressure on her back and Joel squeezed her hips from the front. Joel and I made an awesome team while trying our very best to comfort Hope in the best way possible. 

Hope’s midwife came back in the room at 9:00 AM to check to see if her water was intact or not. Kate confirmed that her water was no longer intact and suggested that everyone rested as she was still in early labor. I then left Joel and Hope in the room to rest. I prayed that Hope would get some rest as I knew it would be hard with contractions being consistent. 

An hour passed and Hope barely had gotten any sleep. It was time to check the baby’s heartbeat again and the midwife decided to do this while Hope was standing. It felt like time slowed down, because the midwife could not find the baby’s heartbeat. I could see it in Hopes eyes, the stress that this had caused her. During this time, I prayed and prayed that the midwife would find it. After what seemed like 2 minutes, Kate had Hope lay back down and she FINALLY got it! Hearing Asher’s heartbeat was such a relief to Hope, Joel, and everyone in that room! You could just feel our anxiety in that room slip away. 

For the rest of the morning, Joel napped and Hopes contractions started slowing down. I advised her to squat on the toilet, as this can open up the pelvis and hopefully get contractions more consistent and intense. This in fact did work! Her contractions were now 2-3 mins apart lasting nearly 90 seconds. 

The toilet seat was starting to become uncomfortable for Hope, so I got the birthing stool which has some cushion on it. We now had a new nurse named Sam, who very much irritated Hope and everyone else. Since her water had broken, it would sometimes leak during contractions and Sam wanted her to put a Depends on so that the fluid wouldn’t get on the furniture… This annoyed not only Hope, but everyone else supporting her. She went into the bathroom to put it on and started crying during / in between contractions to her mother. Joel and I were standing outside the bathroom door, and I suggested to Joel to go inside the bathroom to comfort Hope. I later went in to remind her to stay with the contractions and to find her rhythm again with moaning and swaying. I tried my very best to comfort her as It seemed contractions were getting more intense. 

12:40 PM finally came and Kate checked her cervix again, this time with Hope being in the bathtub. She was 2cm, but fully effaced! Hope was very disappointed as she has been working so hard for so long! We encouraged her and reminded her that there was changed, her cervix was now fully effaced! Once she was reminded that her cervix did change and was now fully thinned out, Hope held on to that and continue to ride each wave, each contraction, with everything she had. She truly was amazing to watch in labor, a pro. 

The afternoon was so hard. 2:30 PM rolled around and Hope was so exhausted because for the past 24 hours, she was barely able to sleep or rest. The contractions were taking a toll on her and started to slow down. It was as if her body was telling her to rest. It was giving her the well-deserved rest she needed. 

Contractions started to finally pick back up around 3:50 PM. We went back to the bathroom and this time sat on the birthing stool in there, so she wouldn’t have to put on Depends to help with her water leaking. The nurse, Sam, came in during her contractions and made it seem as if she was about to push this baby out. At one point she stated, “Are you okay with giving birth in here!?”. Hope’s response was, “I don’t care where I give birth, I just want this fucking baby out!” We were all so excited about the statement that Sam made, and all felt for sure she was dilated at a 10. We were waiting for Hope’s midwife to come back to check her cervix again. 

Finally, at 5:05 PM the midwife checked Hope’s cervix and confirmed she was only dilated at 3cm. Hope began to cry. She cried for about 5 mins straight. You can tell, this was her grieving the birth she wanted. We all grieved with her and let her cry. She was tired, weak, and done. 6:00 PM came along, and she confirmed that she was ready to transfer to the hospital to get an epidural. I confirmed with her asking if she was suffering and she was. With that answer, I was happy that she decided to get an epidural and was excited for her. She labored for so long, did an amazing job, and needs a well-deserved rest before Asher made his grand entrance. I then packed up their belongings and we left the birthing center at 6:18 PM, arriving at the birthing center at 6:35 PM. Joel stated that she had 3 contractions during the drive to Banner University Hospital. 

We arrived at the Hospital and right away Hope and Joel went through to Triage to do the initial check-up. They confirmed she was dilated to a 4! This was great news and I knew instantly that labor was going to speed up. 7:55 PM finally came and Hope received her epidural, which must have been so much relief to her. The pain was starting to finally fade, and she was now able to relax! 

I was able to meet back up with Hope and Joel in their room at 8:20 PM. Hope was doing so much better and It made my heart so happy to see that she was no longer suffering during her contractions. She explained that she could feel contractions a little bit, but was doing so much better! Later we found out that because of her scoliosis, she had a window of pain located on the right side of her lower back and front that went down to her thigh.  

Once we settled into room 393, I was advised that Hope’s nurse for the evening was Julia and her midwife was to be Kim Flanders. 

9:45 PM came along and I got Julia because Hope was filling more intense pain and was trying to sleep. We changed her positions to the other side and increased the epidural. The rest of the evening we all rested. Hope was fast asleep in the hospital bed, Joel was in the recliner chair sleeping beside her, and Hopes mother and her boyfriend were sleeping on the sofa. I tried sleeping while sitting in a chair, but later just laid a blanket on the floor and tried to rest. Rest for me didn’t come easy, as I was listening to everyone and waiting for the nurse to come back in.

It was 10:00 PM and I heard Hope moaning during a contraction. I waited for it to end and then walked over to her to see how she was doing and if I needed to call the nurse. She was sound asleep and was only moaning in her sleep! I prayed that she would get plenty of rest to have energy for the second stage of labor (pushing).

11:00 PM came around and the nurse checked her. This was the moment we were all waiting and hoping for. Julia announced she was dilated to a 9 and that Asher was at a -1 station! We were so excited!! Julia told everyone to go back to sleep, so they did. Hope declined to up her epidural because she didn’t like the numb feeling that it brought, it scared her. She began to feel very intense contractions where the epidural wasn’t really working. I began to coach her again (she really didn’t need the coaching, but I was trying to remind her how to breath and relax just how she was at the birthing center). The only thing that really helped was applying counter pressure on her back in between / during contractions. 

About 30 mins later, the nurse came back in and announced that she was at a 10 and ready to push. She called the midwife and she came in about 5 mins later. Everyone was ready to meet baby Asher; specially Hope after everything she had been through for this baby. About 10 mins into pushing and baby Asher made his entrance into this world on July 12that 11:56 PM weighing 8lbs 7oz and measuring 21 ½ inches long. He was a very healthy baby with an Apgar score of 9-9. Hope had a 2nddegree tear that the midwife was taking care of while she embraced and met her baby boy for the first time.

Hope and Joel, thank you so much for trusting and allowing me to be a part of your birth. Joel, it was such a privilege to watch you support your wife. You can tell you really love and admire her. Hope you are so strong and brave, and I admire that about you. You did an amazing job, and I pray that you acknowledge and know that! I know you didn’t initially want to get an epidural and give birth at the hospital, but I hope you remember how amazing of a birthing team you had at the hospital and how incredible you did through it all. They supported you and your birthing plan so well. I was amazed at how mommy and baby friendly that hospital was. Labor is hard, its tiring, its demanding! You pushed through and through and I am so proud of you! You were a natural and a pro. I hope you enjoyed your birthing experience and it was as memorable and special as it was to me. Asher is here because of you. You brought him into this world. Congratulations mama!